Believing in Hope

I've been worrying a lot lately about what direction God wants for me now. What purpose? What course? What plan? What actions does He want me to take? These thoughts have begun to overwhelm me to a point where it's hard to believe anything good can come next. I am not generally a hopeless person, which makes this doubt I've had over hope even more heavy on my heart. Last year I felt I had a purpose for my time, something definite that God was trying to show me and fight for. With the New Year already in swing, I'm at a loss and it's starting to douse my hope.

I was reminded in church today of one thing I listed yesterday: Soft soil to plant in. As they talked about abiding in God, always believing in and depending on Him, and how through this "plugged in" relationship God will produce fruit in my life, I was thinking about my doubt in hope. It seems so corny to write it like this, because it's so hard to detail the spark I felt the Spirit fanning, but I realized I must still believe hope is possible. I planted yesterday! Not just in a pot or temporary place, but in the ground. I must still believe deep down that something I do today will benefit my own, or another's, future. I planted hope. Hope. I was so glad for this innocent perspective on what I thought was just a way to soak up a little sun and cross another "to-do" off my list. Hope still exists in my heart and with patience, faith, and persistence, I believe hope will grow.

"Our days on earth are like a shadow, without hope."
~1 Chronicles 29:15b