Naptime Yet?

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
Ephesians 6:10-13

I am amazed that we don't walk through each day looking skeptically around corners and into each room as we enter. We don't know when we will need our armor. But I think what amazes me about this verse most is that not only do we need God's armor for the actual battle, but also for the aftermath, when we are left alive to heal our wounds and pick up the pieces.

Maybe that's why I find it so hard lately to feel the strength I know is within. I'm worn from the heavy armor and rough battle. My wounds are deep and healing at different paces. I'm still standing, and I'm weak, tired and overwhelmed when I look at the rebuilding that needs to happen as I move forward post-war feeling defeated...yet I survived. I needed this reminder that it is not yet time to remove my armor, but in fact, it's time to hold tight to it and rely on it all the more. "...and after you have done everything, to stand." Amen

Tough times call for Counting Blessings

I've been wanting to write lately, but I've had a hard time focusing. Finally it occurred to me that maybe if I remind myself of the good going on amidst all the negative that it might help me see what it is that I'm trying figure out. So, simply, I'm going to list a few things that I am grateful for tonight.

1. Lunch with my dad today
2. Snugly puppy
3. It snowed this morning
4. Sweet thank you ecard from a friend
5. God's ability to use all of us, as sinners, for His good
6. Encouragement from two friends
7. Tomorrow is a new day

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." ~James 4:10

...preparing for lift off Lord! :)

What if it all goes right?

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise." ~Hebrews 10:23 NLT

As I recover from the last year I realize that I have fears and worries I never had before. Many "what ifs?" creep up at the most inconvenient times, sometimes not sparked by any source. "What if that goes wrong? What if this happens again? What if I...what if he...what if they...what if God???!!! What if...what if...what if!!?" It's a fast downward spiral if I don't catch my faith and hold tightly.

Then, I was making a batch of sweets for a friend and heard a newer song that the Spirit used to get His message of trust and promise across. WHAT IF IT ALL GOES RIGHT? YES!! What IF it all turns out OK? What if I can move on and be better in spite of a broken heart and confusion? What if God's promise is really all I need? Yes. What if instead of preparing for when it all goes wrong, I expect and prepare for when it all goes RIGHT?!

I spent so much time in the last year repairing collateral damage, nursing my wounds, and preparing myself for the worst. The "worst" kept getting worse and I'd still look around, catch my breath, and realize I'm still OK. So then I'd prepare for the next time it would get worse...and amazingly I'm still standing after over a year of hard blows. Naturally I began to condition myself to prepare for "wrong" and finally facing the question "What if it all goes right?" has really opened my eyes to my new course of action: Preparing for the best. One step at a time I will rebuild my confidence, security, and trust in God's promises for me. I look forward to seeing what happens when it all goes right.

New Year's Blessings to all! xoxo

My Grown-Up Christmas List

I've heard the song before, and dozens of artists have recorded it, but this year I seem to hear it more than ever. I finally decided that perhaps it was my heart that was willing the song to me...like it was something that finally helped me put words to some of the desires of my heart. The song, as obvious as it may be, is called "My Grown-Up Christmas List." I love the words, and the melody is one of those songs that feels warm and soothing, like remembering times when I was little and my mom would cozy up with me in the rocking chair. It just about makes me cry every time I hear it, but in a way that I know healing is on the way. This song is starting to help my heart find a voice.

Here is My Grown-Up Christmas List:

No more lives torn apart

and wars would never start

and time would heal all hearts.

Everyone would have a friend

and right would always win

and love would never end.

I would like to add to that list a heart filled with peace, hope, and joy, courage to face change with a positive attitude, wisdom and discernment to pursue the right direction, patience and grace for when I or others make mistakes, prayer for me and for those I love, and the ability to put love first in most circumstances. If I could add one more request to my Christmas list I would ask that perhaps more people would share these wishes on "my list."

Christmas blessings!

In Everything Give Thanks

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." ~1 Chronicles 16:34

Today is a bittersweet day, looking back on years of tradition and knowing that even though many of the motions were the same, the traditions are different now...and will change again. Recently as I was driving, thinking about all I've learned in the word and through Him, I was reminded of several verses of thanksgiving...being grateful for trials, being thankful in all circumstances, etc. I started to laugh as I felt the Lord nudge me and whisper "Well, I guess you sure have a lot to be thankful for!!" I am learning why I am supposed to be glad for hard times, for troubles, and for loss. It all brings me closer in faith, to Him, to my loved ones, to my soul. Even though I hope to never experience a year like this AGAIN, I am thankful, especially today, for God's joy, patience, persistence, His grace, and His love which "endures forever."

Thanksgiving blessings to all!

Joy Cometh!...I hope...

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalm 126:5
Recently the concept "defiant joy" was introduced to me and I realized that it is part of what characterizes my year. I insist in choosing joy over bitterness, anger, and resentment. I choose love, kindness, and grace over evil responses. When I heard this "defiant joy" I thought of all the times I fell to my knees in tears and stood up wakening to some sort of joy; my dog attacking her reflection, a friend calling, or being reminded of a verse that brought me comfort in the past. I got up and in spite of the hurt and the pain I was able to find some small joy to help me through...I will not sacrifice the joy I have because of Him, because of him.

I can choose joy out of rebellion to all that evil is trying to shove at me. I choose joy because in the midst of these trials and losses I have faced, God will not bring me through it without the promise of joy on the other side. This is temporary...this feeling, this moment or day, this life. I have joy because JOY IS COMING! JOY COMETH!!

Honor your right to VOTE!

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord” Psalm 33:12

I was reminded today of a blessing we as women are given in America...the right to vote. It is hard to remember that it's not been long since women were denied the right to vote. I admit that it's easy to take this for granted, and by sharing the following prayer and article, I hope to inspire other blessed women to participate as an American citizen and VOTE!

Dear Lord, in this upcoming election, I pray that You will move in the hearts of Your people in this nation to vote. I pray You will work in and through our leaders to guide and bless this nation – may it be so in all nations, Lord! Guide us by your Spirit, in Jesus' Name, Amen.

Did you vote? I did.