Seem so small

In Him all things are possible, and yes, there are people going through harder times than I have been, or could possibly ever dream of. Isn't it amazing how God never makes us feel like our problems aren't as big as others' problems?

For each "season" of my life, good or bad, I've noticed a song always seems to come on the radio that applies to my situation at the time. The morning of the day I found out my mom had 2 weeks left, I heard a song about "I believe there are more than angels watching over me." Lately, this song by Carrie Underwood has been popular, and I find it divine that I was enjoying it before I even understood the words. The other night, listening to it, and reflecting on the things going on in my life right now, the words were suddenly so clear to me. I'll share the parts that stuck out to me:

"What you got if you aint got love?
The kind that you just wanna give away
It's okay to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out
And just be left alone

Don't run out on your faith

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
What you've been out there searching for forever,
Is in your hands

When you figure out love is all that matters, after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big, at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole

While you're sittin round thinking about what you can't change
And worryin' about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count, cause you can't get it back"

So long 2007

As I see the coming of the New Year I am thinking of hopes, resolutions, and things I'd like for 2008. I read an article in our local newspaper that suggested unless we share our resolutions we have no hope of accomplishing them. So, in front of you all, I list the few I've been considering as December winds down:

Love more unconditionally

Listen better

Forgive and have mercy

Go to church every month, at least

Develop a bigger heart for thankfulness

These are all kind of big, and vague, but I feel I'll get further if I apply these and let all the other small tasks and resolutions come into play as I get better with these.

Many blessings to you all in 2008! The best is yet to come...

It's Christmas Eve and I remember...

I never thought I'd see another Christmas Eve as uncertain as 5 years ago, but God apparently had other plans for me. In effort to hang on to the true meaning of this season I note the thoughts I have today.

Today I remember childhood Christmases, so eager to enjoy the parties, the presents, the people.

Today I remember frantic baking traditions with my mom, wrapping last minute gifts, trying to be patient and good just one last evening before Santa visited.

Today I remember making a plan with my sister as we schemed what time we'd wake up Christmas morning, and what presents we'd open first, and when we were older, we would put together secret surprise stockings for mom and dad, "from Santa's elves."

Today I remember the year my Grandpa H. finally lost to cancer and though I was small, I remember watching my mom console my dad when they thought they were alone.

Today I remember working for a dear friend his first Christmas after losing his dad.

Today I remember one of my favorite Christmases 6 years ago, when everyone I loved was healthy and happy and together.

Today I remember candy cane cookies, homemade caramels, frosted fruit bars, chocolate covered butter crunch, peanut brittle, caramel corn, gingersnaps, my uncle's panatone', my neighbor's divinity.

Today I remember the phone call about 6:30 am when my dad called to confirm my mom was finally at rest.

Today I remember the visitors who came in love, with food and support.

Today I remember trying to carry on as in Christmases past, but all of us knowing that it would never be the same again.

Today I remember wrapping presents quietly in my first house feeling that God was close and that peace was with her.

Today I remember a diamond ring full of promise and sweetness and anticipation.

Today I remember my first Christmas as a wife, trying to make our new apartment as festive as possible at the last minute.

Today I remember silly pajamas that started a new tradition.

Today I remember feeling that all I was waiting for, all I was hoping for, all I was trying for was coming together.

Today I remember our first Christmas in our "first home," hosting dinner for both families and celebrating his first Christmas with his brother.

Today I remember that God blessed us tremendously with a Gift, that is His Son, who he sent here just for us, to save us and bring us home to Him.

Today I remember that there have been many Christmases, some wonderful, some harder than others, but that they just keep coming and life moves forward.

Today I remember love and family and friends as good as family.

Today I remember that through Christmas God gave us hope. That is what I hold today, Hope. I wish everyone hope and joy in the true blessings of Christmas.

Glory to God in the Highest

Of all our yearly blessings, this season marks the greatest Gift. God's blessings to you!

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.
An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.
This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

Luke 2: 8-14

Merry Christmas!

Heart wounds

Typically I write "good" things here, but tonight all I can post is that while my body in near perfect health, my heart is wounded. I am amazed how physically sick my stomach can feel, and how burning and hurt my heart can pound at emotional distraught. I know that however God plans to lead my next steps that I will be fine, but for now, the log has been pulled from my eye and stabbed in my heart.

To remind you all of a precious gift we are given, that is harder to uphold than it seems, I give you this verse we've all heard before:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

~Corinthians 13:4-8

Only in Him

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

~Psalm 34:18~