"...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Today I count these blessings:

1. Time to work outside in the sun
2. A visit from a new family yesterday
3. Soft soil to plant in
4. God winks
5. It's almost Sunday

Naptime Yet?

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
Ephesians 6:10-13

I am amazed that we don't walk through each day looking skeptically around corners and into each room as we enter. We don't know when we will need our armor. But I think what amazes me about this verse most is that not only do we need God's armor for the actual battle, but also for the aftermath, when we are left alive to heal our wounds and pick up the pieces.

Maybe that's why I find it so hard lately to feel the strength I know is within. I'm worn from the heavy armor and rough battle. My wounds are deep and healing at different paces. I'm still standing, and I'm weak, tired and overwhelmed when I look at the rebuilding that needs to happen as I move forward post-war feeling defeated...yet I survived. I needed this reminder that it is not yet time to remove my armor, but in fact, it's time to hold tight to it and rely on it all the more. "...and after you have done everything, to stand." Amen

Tough times call for Counting Blessings

I've been wanting to write lately, but I've had a hard time focusing. Finally it occurred to me that maybe if I remind myself of the good going on amidst all the negative that it might help me see what it is that I'm trying figure out. So, simply, I'm going to list a few things that I am grateful for tonight.

1. Lunch with my dad today
2. Snugly puppy
3. It snowed this morning
4. Sweet thank you ecard from a friend
5. God's ability to use all of us, as sinners, for His good
6. Encouragement from two friends
7. Tomorrow is a new day

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." ~James 4:10

...preparing for lift off Lord! :)

What if it all goes right?

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise." ~Hebrews 10:23 NLT

As I recover from the last year I realize that I have fears and worries I never had before. Many "what ifs?" creep up at the most inconvenient times, sometimes not sparked by any source. "What if that goes wrong? What if this happens again? What if I...what if he...what if they...what if God???!!! What if...what if...what if!!?" It's a fast downward spiral if I don't catch my faith and hold tightly.

Then, I was making a batch of sweets for a friend and heard a newer song that the Spirit used to get His message of trust and promise across. WHAT IF IT ALL GOES RIGHT? YES!! What IF it all turns out OK? What if I can move on and be better in spite of a broken heart and confusion? What if God's promise is really all I need? Yes. What if instead of preparing for when it all goes wrong, I expect and prepare for when it all goes RIGHT?!

I spent so much time in the last year repairing collateral damage, nursing my wounds, and preparing myself for the worst. The "worst" kept getting worse and I'd still look around, catch my breath, and realize I'm still OK. So then I'd prepare for the next time it would get worse...and amazingly I'm still standing after over a year of hard blows. Naturally I began to condition myself to prepare for "wrong" and finally facing the question "What if it all goes right?" has really opened my eyes to my new course of action: Preparing for the best. One step at a time I will rebuild my confidence, security, and trust in God's promises for me. I look forward to seeing what happens when it all goes right.

New Year's Blessings to all! xoxo